best man. failed mc. dance floor commandant

a wedding season to remember

What a month. What a time to be alive.

Three weddings in September.

Three.

As in Uno, Dos, Tres.

Welcome to wedding season. Oversized suits and shirts lay to waste on my bedroom floor as I scramble to find the original packaging to send off before the return date.

PRO-TIP: Never order from anywhere that uses Yodel for delivery or returns. Why am I printing out a return label in 2023?

Safari tabs littered with beige double-breasted suits and best tailors near me searches. Siphoning off a portion of your salary to Jeff Bezos to find the best wedding gift. Polaroid cameras clogged with wonderfully disoriented summer nights and loved ones we get to see once in a pink moon.

Truth be told, I used to hate weddings. I only went to witness an objection to the marriage by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or an estranged baby momma. But nowadays everyone is so boring. There isn’t any drama at these weddings, just a display of love and affection (yuck). I’m not asking for an Eastenders plotline, but just something spicy.

But alas, everyone is a sucker for love. We're all dying for a friends-to-lovers arc, an enemies-to-sweethearts plot, or, alternatively, a church ushers to a joint Christian couple YouTube channel storyline.

Congratulations to all those who have made a conscious decision to permanently withdraw from the dire UK dating scene. The thought of never asking anyone “What's your favourite colour?”, “How many siblings do you have?” or the infamous “How many kids do you think we’ll have?” ever again would also force me to fast-track this courting process.

Love truly is a unifier. Suli Breaks says that marriage is a treaty that is signed by two nations. Marriage is a beautiful thing. It’s a time of reflection, celebration, and discovery. For example, I discovered about 28 different aunties and uncles at my brother’s wedding that I never realised I had. I discovered that if you're on your feet for most of the day, monk shoes are probably your best bet. I’ve discovered that maybe MC’ing isn’t my strongest skill (sorry Daph and Solo - roll the clip).

Stop at 42:04, you don’t need to watch the full thing. This isn’t a Marvel movie, we all know how it ends.

I’m 24. The age where my peers are deciding whether they want to pay for a reception venue, a three-bed in Kent, or a week’s all-inclusive resort in Mykonos. As NSG said: Options. Marriage weighs heavily on my mind. I’ve lost count of the number of aunties and (no offence) busybodies who have asked me “Oh Abaka…when do you plan on getting married?” It’s always the people who you don’t even intend to invite to the wedding.

Wedding season has left a lasting impact. Anyone can testify to the fact that I used to be confused by our generation’s desperation to get married. You’re thinking about love when there’s money to be made? Pathetic. I always thought love would slow down my dreams. How can I change the world if I’m spending my weekends getting brunch and casing through flower markets to find the best bouquets?

Wedding seasons remind me that now all that stuff really matters. That love is more than a capitalistic ideology to take all of our hard-earned coins. That love is more than showing off coordinated baecation fits on TikTok. Love is an expression. Love is a choice. Love is expensive (have you seen the price of reception venues these days?).

As I Grow Older, wedding season reminds me that we are all growing up. Priorities have changed. Had a conversation with a few friends after church one Sunday and it genuinely shocked me. Once upon a time, the same guys venturing to Mile End every week for 5-a-side are now planning weddings. Life is crazy like that. Blink and you’ll miss it.

I'll learn to cherish these periods when they come around again. As we head into winter, a.k.a. cuffing season, a.k.a. January Transfer Window, a.k.a. when Winter Wonderland starts looking like Ghana in December, we await the emerging hopeful candidates embarking on the voyage that is marriage. And again, we will remember that we are ALL growing older.

Love, Peace, & Blessings

Abaka