i missed friendsmas and it still haunts me
too busy for a matcha?
In December, I was what the busy bees call “double-booked”. I had a wedding and friendsmas scheduled for the same day. We couldn’t change the booking on the restaurant reservation, and, obviously, the couple couldn’t change their wedding date. I was left in a bit of a conundrum.
A bunch of 20-somethings finalising a date that worked for everyone was a mammoth feat. Constant back and forth in the group chat, aired messages, unanswered polls, food allergy considerations, and location scouting. An intense labour of love to host a festive feast for a group of friends who barely congregate together due to distance, time and the speed of post-uni life coming to kick us in the oesophagus.
All for me to pull out a week before because I didn’t realise I had a wedding on the same day. It was poor from the kid. It still irks me at times. Everyone was very understanding, but it became a thorn in my side. A burden I couldn’t shake. Something that kept me up at night (let me not lie, I slept like a baby the nights that followed).
To the people who felt the cold embrace of my absence from friendsmas, I want to apologise for the 164th time and humbly beg for your forgiveness. This blog is more of an apology than a life lesson. More of a poor attempt at reconciliation and understanding.
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Life has been unreal lately. The love I’ve received since the Merky Books announcement has been followed up with a barrage of media opportunities, press enquiries and the general buzz that occurs. At times, I want to say it’s been a lot to juggle and balance.
I’ve lost count of the texts and DMs that have slipped through the cracks. My calendar is clogged, and messages are backlogged. I pride myself on having great reply times and being fairly accessible. Now I’m desperately hiring for the PA that I’ve always said I needed. Life is great, but I guess that is what happens when you’re booked and busy.
Booked and busy? I hate that term.
When I was younger, I always wanted to be busy. Wanted to be always on some mode of transport heading to the next show, meet and greet, or public appearance. I wanted to have diaries that were filled with endless appointments and invites. I wanted an assistant by my side, telling me, “So after the 11 am media appearance, you’ve got a car waiting for you to head to your 1 pm lunch meeting with…” This was definitely an arrogant way to think, but now that dream seems like a nightmare.
I grew up with the saying “The devil makes use of idle hands.” But I often wondered what he could do with a busy mind. We often use the image of being busy to mask our flaws; the moment you aren’t busy, they will resurface. Because let’s be honest, everyone says they’re busy, but what are we actually busy doing?
As the years grow on and our knees get weaker (or maybe it’s just mine), there are way more pressures on our time. The higher we climb with work, the more responsibilities we may face. The larger our families grow, the more mini minions you have to look after. Even at my tender age, I’m struggling to get a free Saturday to myself.
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We can all strut around and wear our unavailability on our chest until we’re in our late 20s, screaming that “we don’t have any community”, all because you skipped out on various brunch requests and coffee check-ins. You weren’t willing to squeeze a few hours into weekday evenings for an overhyped new restaurant on TikTok.
You’re booked and busy, but you’re also burnt out!
Everyone knows you to be the guy doing 101 things, but you know internally you’re breaking down. You’re “hustling and grinding” but get envious when you hear the sounds of wine glasses clinking together on Instagram after a cheerful Bank Holiday bottomless brunch.
I have so many issues with being booked and busy. Not only does it not allow you to have the time to prioritise things that matter, but it forces you to keep up the façade of being inaccessible, unreachable, and dare I say untouchable.
Why does it take 3-5 working days to get a reply from my friends? Why do we have to wait 3 months to have a 1-2-1? I get it. Life is hard, and we all have seasons where we are swamped with the weight of roles and responsibilities. But let’s all be flipping for real.
Make time for people. Make time for the things that will really matter in 10/20/30 years. Sort your calendar out and get them overpriced coffee dates in the diary.
As I Grow Older, I’m more likely to ensure gaps in my calendar. Make sure there’s enough room in my schedule, and in my heart, for the things and people I love. “Work to live" or "live to work” and all of that good stuff.
Because the day you’re no longer booked and busy, you will look around and realise you missed out on a lot of living in the attempt to make a living.
Anyway, have a great Bank Holiday Monday!
Love, Peace, & Blessings,
Abs
Not an apology blog post chileeee, let’s do springmas or something 😅