‘Illi mors gravis incubat, qui notus nimis omnibus, ignotus moritur sibi"

So we speak Latin now?

I’m going to be so honest. The fact that I know phrases in Latin makes me feel superior. Like I went to Eton or Harrow. Like I call my dad “papá” (say it in a posh accent, not an African one) or my trust fund could pay for your mortgage. You're all my sons.

I came across this phrase in 2nd year of uni when I was taking a module in “Corruption in Britain and its Empire”. From my recollection, a man who had been the epitome of what it meant to be corrupt was being sentenced and one of the man’s associates made this statement. Saddened by his friend’s actions and the path he had walked down; he could no longer recognise the moral degradation of his friend’s ethics and principles.

Translated, this phrase reads: It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else, and still unknown to himself.

Or “death presses heavily on that man who, being but too well known to others, dies in ignorance of himself”.

I guess a lot of people could have different definitions of this phrase. The way I interpret it is that when I move onto the ancestral plane, if everyone knows me to be a certain way or ascribes something to me, but I don’t even know who I truly am, then death is very very peak.

I’ve been pondering on this a bit. We grow up having to face two different narratives: “Don’t care about people’s opinions” vs. “A good name is worth more than its weight in gold”.

And this is why I’m confused. Am I supposed to live how I want to live or tiptoe on eggshells? Because the pressure is getting worserrrrrrr.

My behaviour shouldn’t be reactionary. It shouldn’t be based solely off of people’s inclinations and whispers in my ear. “Do not react but you are the saboteur.” If you don’t know the show that this is referenced from, then you’re too young to be reading this article.

I don’t know where this post is going so here are some random Latin quotes that vaguely relate to this topic.

Esto quod esse videris: Men should be what they seem

The idea of acting to fit a certain narrative is deadly. Once a picture is painted, the image will always remain. Meaning… people’s ideas of you don’t just go overnight, so be careful of what you try to portray.

Condemnant quo non intellegunt: They condemn that which they do not understand

Another notion I’ve very much struggled with. People don’t know. Although this can be frustrating, you must forgive them. Understanding comes with both knowledge and empathy. People can know you, but not empathise with your life story and actions that led you to who you are today. So, if your actions are dependent on people’s attitudes towards you, just ask yourself: do they really know you?

Qui totum vult totum perdit: He who wants everything, loses everything

You strive for societal acceptance but question why you don’t have self-acceptance. Pick a struggle and live with it. Choose your fight and fighter. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Faber est suae quisque fortunae Every man is the artisan of his own fortune

Self-explanatory, no?

Barba non facit philosophum. A beard doesn’t make one a philosopher.

This is for all my baby-faced 20-something-year-olds who are constantly berated for not having a beard. Being nice to people doesn’t make you a nice person. Giving money to people doesn’t make you generous. Being able to hold your tongue and not react, doesn’t make you patient. It’s all about intention. Everyone can praise your character and actions, but you could be truly rotten, manipulative, and vindictive inside.

Si Monumentum Requiris, Circumspice: If you seek his monument, look around"

I love this story. When the architect of St. Paul's Cathedral, Sir Christopher Wren, died in 1723, he was buried inside the church. Wren's son placed a dedication nearby, which contains these words. The phrase is commonly used to talk about legacy. What we leave behind, which includes intangible things like relationships and our character representation, best represents our life. At your funeral, if someone was to depict your life, if they looked around at who was there, what people were saying, the atmosphere in the room, what would their conclusion of you be?

As I Grow Older, I’ve realised that it is important to define yourself on your own terms. Take control of the narrative.

Before one cares about how everyone views them, one must first know themselves. From there you can battle the world.

Until next time.

Love, Peace, & Blessings,

Abs