the no fear twenties
Quarter One reflections? In late May? I apologise, I’ve been on a (semi) social media break. It feels good to be back.
I think I’m being brainwashed. Corporate life has taken a hold of me. I’ve succumbed to its callus culture and everything I do revolves around it. I innocently wore a quarter zip to church and someone told me I looked like an investment banker. That very day I started job searching with serious vim. I’m in my Lord and Saviour’s house but I look like I’ve just closed the deal of a century.
But one thing corporate living has made me grateful for is seeing life solely on quarters. Whether via the financial/tax year, the bog-standard Gregorian version, or the good old Aztec Calendar. Either way, I’ve learnt to break up my year into digestible chunks and not wait until the 31st of December to feast on all of the years’ lessons and learnings, and not feel sick by the time I’ve consumed and come to terms with all of the year’s wins and woes.
Quarter One. The damage you’ve done. The joy you’ve brought. The headaches you’ve caused. The laughter you’ve belted out. Quarter One. You’ve confused me. You’re giving off a lot of mixed signals. The quarter of blessings and bruises.
But as I reflect on this quarter, I remember a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine and a self-proclaimed fan of the blog (the conversation was with myself, but it sounds better if it came from someone else’s mouth). They said I was taking the blog down the wrong path. I needed to incite fear. Instil dread.
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They advised me to play more on the quarter-life crisis anxiety, that many of us are currently facing, a bit more. If people could come onto my page and start to relate to the existential dread, they were feeling internally then subscribers and views would skyrocket. Start writing blogs about how everyone over 25 and single might not ever get married. Call people bums if they’re not making six figures by 30. Remind the guys that their hairlines are receding by the second, but they don’t have the money to go to Turkey (sorry that was directed to someone in particular, so ignore if it’s not you).
And before you call me cruel or rude, think about how everything is advertised to us. I never had an issue with my teeth until I started to see Invisalign everywhere. I didn’t bat an eyelid to the bags under my eyes until Topicals were flying influencers out to promo their new masks. Social media is a cure for FOMO and being trendy/up-to-date. Travel companies/airlines selling us the idea of dropping everything and going travelling for a year to cure an impending quarter-life crisis. The older generations are being sold health and wellbeing products to reverse the effects of an inevitably ageing body. Fear sells.
Everything we consume tells us we’re either behind, deficient, or pathetic.
The buck stops here.
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This quarter I’ve been working on how I speak about myself and the situations I find myself in. 25 is creeping up on me and I can hear it whispering in my ear. Questioning everything that I am, everything I’ve done and everything that I said I would be. I used to shudder at the mere thought of answering these questions.
I still do. I still question myself. Please I’m not your favourite motivational speaker, I’m human. I’m still apprehensive at times about what my twenties will bring. But I don’t live in FEAR.
I no longer fear aunties asking why I’m not married because they don’t know what their “model” sons are doing on Friday nights. I no longer fear old primary school friends reappearing from the woodwork to suggest going to an overpriced coffee shop to “catch up” two days before payday, because I’ve already budgeted for this unfortunate eventuality. I no longer fear messing up a pitch in front of a client. I no longer fear how I will afford a house in Rushi Sunak’s England. I no longer fear if this creative thing will work for me or not. I no longer fear the future.
Do not buy into fear. Do not fund the economy of anxiety.
Controversial, but songs like 20 something by SZA have had to be removed from all of my playlists. I no longer sow into fear. No longer cloud my thoughts with worry and confusion. These are the no-fear twenties. I don’t want to spend them with my head on a swivel, uneasy about what’s around me.
As I Grow Older, I realised that my twenties are for enjoying, not dreading. My content is supposed to be encouraging, not fear-mongering.
Those are my reflections from this quarter. That’s all for today. After a long social media break it’s good to be back.
Love, Peace, & Blessings,
Abs
This was so good! Thank you!!
A word in season!