this cut will do more for my mental health than therapy ever will

mental heath awareness week

*I want to preface this article by saying that I am not a mental health advisor or specialist. Any advice given is the result of personal experiences and somewhat “wisdom”, and thus are my own views on the matter. Nothing I say should be taken in the same vein as advice given by a licensed medical professional.*

Wish I could explain where I’ve been since January. Long story short, I broke my laptop. Couldn’t be asked to get it fixed, and used that as an excuse for not putting out a post, as if the Notes app on my iPhone wasn’t sufficient enough. Anyways, as some of you already know I don’t do apologies, so welcome back to As I Grow Older. 

I’m convinced that my barber will have an invite to my wedding (and subsequently the reception afterwards). Maybe not the first 4 or so tables, but he’ll definitely be there. I will instruct the caterers to give him an extra serving of jollof and a large chicken thigh. How can the man who works wonders on my hairline receive the same treatment as common friends and family members? So what my mother gave birth to me… can she give me a crisp skin fade in 25 minutes? I don’t think so. 

@elite.oliverLook good play good🧑🏾‍🦱

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This week is Mental Health Awareness Week. This topic continues to be a growing concern and issue in our day and age and especially amongst our demographic, but we’ll settle for a seven-day spotlight on the matter. Many of us, especially in the corporate world, would recognise our offices and HR teams clogging our calendars with well-being sessions and meditation spaces. Then from the 22nd, we go back to the usual routine of stress and overwork. But hey, at least we spent our lunch breaks inhaling and exhaling. 

But this got me thinking, what do I do to benefit my mental health? I’ve seen a pattern in my life in which every year I develop a new activity or “passion” that helps to provide a space for me to unwind and escape from the real world. In 2021, it was golf. 2022, I found myself spending a lot of time at the theatre. And this year I’ve buried myself in quite a few books (especially non-fiction ones). Let’s just say that as the cost of living increased, the cost of the activity decreased.

All this and I have not spent a single hour on the couch of a therapist’s office. I don’t say that as a badge of honour or something to aspire to. It’s actually the opposite. Therapy is definitely something I would love to dedicate a portion of my time to in the near to distant future. But for now, I feel like I (maybe we) find interesting ways to deal with the issues we have apart from therapy or other more conventional methods.

@jacksongorillai make the big rocks into little rocks #fyp #therapytok #deepthoughts

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But I believe this needs to be championed more. There are so many healthy and constructive (and probably cheaper) ways to contribute to your mental well-being. These could be hobbies that you already enjoy such as cooking/baking, exercising, and sleeping (some of you can relate to this more than others). 

I want to emphasise that any activity that is for the betterment of your mental health should be HEALTHY. 

Things like isolation, overeating, excessive social media consumption, and binge drinking (damn, I sound like a youth pastor) are all things we may use to combat stress and the issues of life. These are symptoms of a bigger problem that I won’t be able to cover in any real depth in a 1000-word blog post. The point is, your replacement shouldn’t be detrimental.

If your substitute for not seeking help is going to end up with you needing more help, then who are you really helping? 

Getting a trim will not help me deal with the stress of the crippling socioeconomic geopolitical situation in the Queen’s (now King’s - please, I’m not trying to be deported) country. But at least I can walk around with a bit of a smile, and a bop in my step. After a trim, I take the long way home. More Vitamin D, more walking, more fresh air. Do you see how a simple haircut contributes to a better mental state? 

When you are more open with your mental health and state, you’ll be surprised by the stories people have and the methods they have used to overcome low periods or continuously promote better mental well-being. Opening up about mine caused a 3rd-year student to suggest I keep a journal. 6 years later and that’s still solid advice. 

(Click above to read the full thread) 

As I Grow Older, I’ve come to the conclusion that confronting mental health isn’t a one size fits all approach. Just do something. It’s a cold world. There’s a lot of stress on us, be it financial, peer pressure, our own expectations, a lack of social interactions, etc. 

Overall, I would say speak up and get up. Speak up about how you’re feeling and get up and do something that contributes to your well-being. 

Sidenote: Before the mental health experts from the University of Twitter come and hound me, I understand that these are easier said than done and it’s not as simple as that. I’m simply leading the horse to water, not forcing it to drink. 

And my final lesson of the day is: don’t cheat on your barber. I would shout mine out now but even if I did, he still wouldn’t give me a free haircut. 

Love, Peace, & Blessings

Abs.